when

when my effort doesn't meet any of your expectation...

what should i choose?

to stay or to leave?

what ever is the answer, it will be followed by disappointed..

planning

say no to procrastinating!!! lots of duty to finish..

• 2 theses must be done before September
• browse more bout Bali
• join Taxation course
• stop shopping & save
  
• moveeeeee....
• =)

ps. happy anniversary for being alone a.k.a. jomblooo..

behind the scene

Last Saturday, me and my family have a family photo session. im so excited to see the printout of my photos. hahahahaahaha.. i just knew that being a photo model is not that easy...

swimming sunday

my dad woke me up at 5.30 in the morning for swimming. i refused him & i feel a bit guilty for that. i got insomnia yesterday and i feel so sleepy this morning. uuuhhh... and here are their pics, taken without me... =(

does he look cute in his swimsuit? of course, beibehhhhh...

look! he is holding the float very tightly...

& this is the pic of the day! grandpa n grandson... oh so cuteeee...

i wish i could wake up earlier this morning...

after they finished swimming, we have breakfast at Cemara. we are going with my uncle, too. so great! he recover very soon.

this is me n lil cute Christine Natalie *dunno how to spell her name*. she is so cuteeeeeeeee... love her so much... =)

btw, do my eyes look weird? yeah yeah, i couldnt sleep yesterday...

last picture of the dayyyyy...

YES or NO

it is totally a big mistake if u said that i cant wait for another 2 weeks. i just need the answer now. YES or NO. we will not know what is happening tomorrow. a few minutes ago, im sure that you will choose YES as the answer but again, its totally a big mistake. ok, im not supposed to beg for your apologize anymore...

love at the first sight

i went home earlier from office. 17:52. may be its late for you but not for me. yeah, seems like i never leave my office before 18:00 since March. tons of job are waiting for me everyday. somehow, im depressed but i realize that i dont have any choice. all of that is my responsible...

so, back to the story. as i reach home, i read newspaper, watch TV, take a bath, have dinner and chat with my uncle. oh yeah, my uncle can stand by himself already. though only for a few second but that is amazing!

as usual, when i'm feeling unwell and i dont want to stay at home, i will go out with my bag and water bottle. but this time, i have a destination. i need a pair of new shoes. few days before, my friend recommend me a shoes-shop. so i decide to visit it. *actually, today im not supposed to be alone, but something bad happened.. =( *

&&& aha.. i find out the shop but oh my god! the surrounding is so dark + dirty and there are a lot of hoodlums+vagrants. of course im afraid n shocked but no no no, i wont go home before entering the shop. and yeah, guess what, i find a pair of nice shoes. love at the first sight of course. high heels and black in color. a bit wierdo but please note, now im a lady and not a girl anymore. so, high heels are just so fine for me.. =)

09.04.2009

why i cant control myself to stop sobbing?

i know life is bitter...

it can be more bitter when you live alone...

another decision is taken...

but this time, i am forced to do so...

i believe i will regret to the max...

but do i have another option?

dedicated to: 09.04.2009

feeling

what are you going to do when you are not in the mood to do anything, when your feeling is not very well?

crying out loud, eating pounds of chocolates, screaming at railway, entertaining yourself at pub or telling everybody about your condition?

if the question goes to me, then my answer will be: i will drive alone without any destination for 15-30 minutes. listen to Yovie n Nuno loudly. review what i have done, am i right or am i wrong. drop some tears. wont tell anybody what im feeling. go to great temple to calm myself down and pray. go to bed earlier. switch off my mobile phone.

so, when you find out that i am doing one of the above thing, it means that something bad happen to my feeling...

pray of a little girl

im just a little girl with a lot of dreams...

having so many dreams in same time is not easy for me...

it is even harder to make them happen...

im not leaving alone...

i have to think thousand times before making a decision...

whatever i do, i believe it is the best thing i can make...

God, please bless my every step to future..

Isabella Suanto, SE., BBA., BBM

im graduateeeeeeee..... hahahahahahaha... i supposed to be very very very happy today but i wasnt.. i never thought that my graduation day will end up like today.. though so many greetings for me.. but my feeling is blank... i suddenly miss my high school friends.. ok, just forget it. i just dont wanna make my blog looks bored with all of my gripers.  

yahaaa... that's me with a very thick make up on my face..

my dad, my mom and their youngest graduated daughter... aha, do you see my dad is holding my graduation book? there is something bad happen in that book. they input my score wrongly. i have no idea what is going on! 

i  dont like my eyes, so i put stars on them. hahahaha.  & i think my add n phone number  are not needed here. & look! my GPA is 2.47 ONLY... ohmygod!

& here is my certificate with 3.47 as my GPA. i need only 0.003 to reach cum laude predicate. uuuhhh.. if i can turn back time, i will study harder.. =.="

by the way, im glad to see my uncle does not need wheel chair anymore. i believe that he wil recover very very soon and we will have our marvellous holiday this coming September.. cheerssss...

fighting

i've been fighting with myself all day long... fighting for nothing, winning for nothing but absolutely losing for something... 

well, please stop fighting! by the way, tomorrow will be my big big big day.. G-R-A-D-U-A-T-I-O-N.. 4 years of learning and diligence.. hopefully my parents will be proud when the MC speak out loudly: "Ms. Isabella, daughter of Mr. & Mrs. Suanto, predicate High Distinction.." well, i lose my cum laude predicate on my 1st convocation. i hate my examiners! yes, i did cry in my bed. im disappointed. im down.. =(

im wondering what will tomorrow be? *keeps smiling* as i know, graduation day will be fulled by bunches of flower, cameras and laughters. each graduant will be wearing toga, medal, square hat, shoulder belt and of course beautiful flowers in their hands. 

tomorrow i should wake up at 6 in the morning coz my makeup session will be at 7 sharp. euyyyy... they will make me looks like a clown. heavy make up and hair bun. hate that.. ah, must i put on high heels also?? >.<"

ah, i almost forget 1 thing. today is my uncle's birthday. but no cakes, no red eggs, no noodles, no greetings. nobody dare to so coz he will be extremely sad. i wish u happy birthday and believe me, u will get well very soon, uncle.. cheersss... =)

Ascension Day of Jesus Crist

today is a holiday as well as yesterday.. & my blogging mode in ON.. hahaha.. well, i went to bed at 5 this morning.. i did change my blog background & i hv a long yet nice chat with eeerhhhmmm... my friend. yes, he is my friend. we usually talk almost everything. but the last chat is quite different. a decision is made n im sure that it is the best decision i could make.. btw, im just thinking a paragraph of words recently..

when i saw you, im afraid to know you

when i know you, im afraid to talk with you

when i talk with you, im afraid to like you

when i like you, im afraid to love you

when i love you, im afraid to lose you

seems that thousand millions of people ever had this feeling.. maybe im one of those people so, i decide to stop at the second line and im sure it is the best way for not hurting myself anymore..

im back *hopefully*

i left for almost 2 months. i miss browsing & blogging & facebooking & chatting also. its not a short period of time. sure, many things happened within these days. 

i still remember that morning. i got a phone call at 6.45 from my cousin. she said that suddenly her father collapse and she need our help to drive her dad to hospital. apparently my uncle is suffering stroke. his left brain is bleeding so that he is not 100% waken. he cant speak clearly and sure he cant stand up or even eat and drink. staying at hospital for a week is not an easy thing for him and his family. we cant do nothing unless make him sure that we still love him and we will stand right beside him every time he need us. & the hardest thing for me is when he starts to cry and think that he can never recover again. now he stays in my home and sleep in my brother's room. he can do nothing by himself. his right part of body is insensible. well, i hope he can recover soon and may God bless him always...

mmm...guess what, im graduating this Saturday and im so excited! i put on my kebaya several times already. finally i finished my study. im planning my future. i have several options and i am not going to tell anybody till i really have a decision. it must be so hard for me but im sure that i can do it. brighter future is waiting for me.. =)

some random pics of mine...

lazy to rotate.. just wanna show 1 of my fav purple tee with the words "YOUR BOYFRIEND WANTS ME" & im hoping that i meet her when im wearing it.. hahahahahahaha.. *evil laughings*

my green-table convocation day

purple makes me SMILE...